THE PASSING OF A SIBLING

My daddy was a tall, very thin man, bigger than life…we thought, never really thought of him dying…but he did. My mama was a strong resilient, beautiful woman; soft spoken but loud enough to be heard, obeyed and respected. Mama died too, three years ago, a good and ripe 89 years old, daddy was 85. Losing your parents is very difficult, I’ve faced both deaths and can talk about their passing with pride and joy, for this I’m grateful to God.
But the passing of a sibling is very different, don’t ask me why for I don’t know. I guess in a sense you know your parent’s are going to die, it’s really the natural process. To bury your child…I can’t imagine, but the passing of the parent, sooner or later it’s gonna happen.
Three years ago my baby sister Faye died, it really “threw me”, you see I’d never thought about the passing of a sibling. We were three years apart, she was a twin, and I was the knee baby. Everything was Glenda, Faye and Kaye. Mama sometimes called us together…Come here Glenda Faye and Kaye, as if we were triplets!!..haha. We worked the fields together, she had asthma like daddy, and Kaye had health problems, so I did the bulk of the work. I didn’t mind, I was the work horse. We sang in the choir together, going from church to church to sing and have the beloved Children Plays. We were close and shared secrets mama and daddy never knew!! Oh we had our moments,…we were sisters for crying out loud…HA! She talked, and laughed and was the family’s funny girl, and also the voice of reason many times.
She was one of the very few people who really knew me. I could call home and she would ask me “what’s wrong?, are you alright? I really miss talking to her, I could be straight up with her, I can’t say that about many people….. Siblings are different, when they’re gone, your life changes, I can’t really explain it, but I feel it.
My oldest brother died yesterday, our relationship was much different but still a difficult time for me. T. J. was much older, and I was very young when he left home, and I never really got to know him very well. As the years passed I seemed to miss him more and more.
One year I decided I’m going to Baltimore, find him and bring him home for Christmas, with my sister Minnie in tow we set off. We found him and he couldn’t out talk me..haha…we started back to North Carolina! The traffic was horrific, and I still remember how he stuck his head out the window, directing traffic and asking people to let his baby sister through. Still a good memory of him.
I can still remember the reaction of mama and daddy when we drove up, they didn’t think I could do it! Boy were they glad to see him…we all were! He stayed awhile, and then back to Baltimore, to his life, to his world. You have to accept people were they are and move on.
He’s gone now, but not forgotten, and I thank God for fond memories of both my siblings. They really wouldn’t want me to be sad…..so I grieve and move on……but it’s tough, the passing of a sibling……