SORRY, I NEVER KNEW YOU.....HAIR!!!

I guess in life it’s important to have some knowledge of things. Whether its your car, your boat, your house your spouse, your children..…you might want to have some idea of how it or they work. I really never used this principle as it related to my hair. A share cropper’s daughter, I grew up working, and working hard on farms we did not own but slaved on, for little or no money. My hair was not a priority really, and hair was worked on when everything else was done! I do remember trying to plait it up, or pull the kinks out after a wash. Mama had six girls, WHEW… what a job, what a great woman working on six heads,haha.

I do remember my sister Minnie pulling and me hollering, and my cousin Pearl burning me while she said “be still gal”. I wanted to tell her…oh well HA! That was a looooooog time ago. We used the hot comb, and pony tails, but mainly fixing hair was for Easter or special occasions.

I remember when Papa died in 1967, my cousin Lee Cass straitened and curled my hair so pretty, I was the talk of the funeral. Mama of course would have fixed it but she was busy dealing with the loss of her beloved father, so Lee Cass fixed our hair. That’s how family operate really, somebody stepping up to the plate!

As I grew up and as money would allow, we would buy royal crown hair grease, a staple in the Black community, I really don’t remember a lot of shampoos and conditioners, just "lye soap" and as we got rich "ivory"….it kept us from crying, gentle on the eyes.haha

As time passed we got off the farm and daddy bought some land and we owned our own house…that was big, very big. Daddy was so proud, and we began working in the factory, and more money began to emerge. Somewhere in this time frame I began going to the Beauty Shop. There was a lady in my home town who “did hair”, and me and mama would get our hair fixed (done). At last freedom had come, or that’s what I thought at the time. She would put that creamy stuff on and WHALA straitened hair. We were like rich folks, or were we? HA! But let me tell you, not many things feel better than sitting in that chair and getting up looking like “a new creature”! Yes, I crack myself up…

Then the jeri curl came and as my dear hubby says “it was made for me” I loved me some jeri curl, that Care Free was da bomb! I wore my hair relaxed for over 25 years, and frankly I loved and enjoyed it. But of late…

I have been thinking of all the chemicals I have eaten over the years, from the things put on my hair. It’s just time for a change, for my health and wealth! Healthy eating and healthy living and healthy thinking, and yeah healthy hair, my own natural hair.

Since being relaxed free nearly 4 months, I am for the first time in a long time paying attention to my hair. You see before, somebody else did it and I paid the tab, didn’t think much about it!
I’m now finding and discovering the true texture of my hair. I find that I enjoy washing it, and even those dreaded plaits.!!!

I make my own hairdressing which consists of olive oil,coconut oil, and my favorite aloe vera gel. But I need some Shea Butter. I use GNLD and NATURES SUNSHINE shampoos and conditioners. I use other products as funds are available, haha.

Loving my new transitioning hair, yes it been an emotional roller coaster, frustrating, sometimes just wanna do the BIG CHOP and forget it….but it’s been worth it, and looking forward to the next several months of the process. Sorry my dear hair, I never knew you…but I’m learning and I like you very much!
Blessings

THE PASSING OF A SIBLING

My daddy was a tall, very thin man, bigger than life…we thought, never really thought of him dying…but he did. My mama was a strong resilient, beautiful woman; soft spoken but loud enough to be heard, obeyed and respected. Mama died too, three years ago, a good and ripe 89 years old, daddy was 85. Losing your parents is very difficult, I’ve faced both deaths and can talk about their passing with pride and joy, for this I’m grateful to God.
But the passing of a sibling is very different, don’t ask me why for I don’t know. I guess in a sense you know your parent’s are going to die, it’s really the natural process. To bury your child…I can’t imagine, but the passing of the parent, sooner or later it’s gonna happen.
Three years ago my baby sister Faye died, it really “threw me”, you see I’d never thought about the passing of a sibling. We were three years apart, she was a twin, and I was the knee baby. Everything was Glenda, Faye and Kaye. Mama sometimes called us together…Come here Glenda Faye and Kaye, as if we were triplets!!..haha. We worked the fields together, she had asthma like daddy, and Kaye had health problems, so I did the bulk of the work. I didn’t mind, I was the work horse. We sang in the choir together, going from church to church to sing and have the beloved Children Plays. We were close and shared secrets mama and daddy never knew!! Oh we had our moments,…we were sisters for crying out loud…HA! She talked, and laughed and was the family’s funny girl, and also the voice of reason many times.
She was one of the very few people who really knew me. I could call home and she would ask me “what’s wrong?, are you alright? I really miss talking to her, I could be straight up with her, I can’t say that about many people….. Siblings are different, when they’re gone, your life changes, I can’t really explain it, but I feel it.
My oldest brother died yesterday, our relationship was much different but still a difficult time for me. T. J. was much older, and I was very young when he left home, and I never really got to know him very well. As the years passed I seemed to miss him more and more.
One year I decided I’m going to Baltimore, find him and bring him home for Christmas, with my sister Minnie in tow we set off. We found him and he couldn’t out talk me..haha…we started back to North Carolina! The traffic was horrific, and I still remember how he stuck his head out the window, directing traffic and asking people to let his baby sister through. Still a good memory of him.
I can still remember the reaction of mama and daddy when we drove up, they didn’t think I could do it! Boy were they glad to see him…we all were! He stayed awhile, and then back to Baltimore, to his life, to his world. You have to accept people were they are and move on.
He’s gone now, but not forgotten, and I thank God for fond memories of both my siblings. They really wouldn’t want me to be sad…..so I grieve and move on……but it’s tough, the passing of a sibling……

CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!!!

It is interesting how things change, and it’s a good thing too. I'm thankful for the opportunity to change. God is so good, his mercies are from everlasting to everlasting, and I am of all people....very blessed. I'm experiencing some major victories here of late, saying no to junk food has really been a blessing to me. The Lil Debbie Raisin cake, one of my favorite junkies, didn't even tempt me today! Wow.....and we all know there's no junk quite as tempting and delicious as Lil Debbie.

Yesterday was a very good day for me. Planning a trip to the beach, we instead opted to grill. Haven’t grilled since moving to Florida, I guess my hubby had that itch, and we all accommodated him! I really enjoyed it, and I stayed “legal”, seasoning the veggies and meat. I have to be very creative when fixing for the family, but I’ve learned to season the food to the point they don’t miss the salt so much. Of course I add salt for them sometimes, but most foods have salt anyway…we’re just used to adding it, so I use a lotta herbs and spices, juice of limes, lemons, vinegars and other good stuff to tickle the taste buds.

Back to the raisin cakes….every now and then my husband gets a sweet tooth or teeth. Today he brought home pecan swirls, honey buns, and you guessed it…the raisin cakes. I’ve seen the time three would have been gone from my sight before I could adjust the television! Since July I have resisted all kinds of stuff, chocolate and Red Velvet cake, ice cream, doughnuts, cookies etc. But that was it….no junk for me. I guess it’s easier for me because I’m eating better and the cravings have left me, I just don’t want the bad stuff anymore. But Little Debbie, one of my favorites…never would have thunk it!! ….Change is possible after all….

MY SURGERY

It’s been the best of times…but not all the time!!! Now I find myself at a crossroad, a very good place in my life I think, a place I’ve never been before in all my almost 25 years of marriage. It’s a life examing place, and yeah, I’m the SUBJECT, I am the CLIENT, yes I am the PATIENT. I’ve finally realized that my life is indeed my life, I’ve wasted many years trying to fit into others lives, to be a part…when many of those people never wanted me in their lives. How sad, poor me, should have known better….oh well…that time is over forever.

Now I press on, working on me, my surgery…I’m in the operating room and it’s really me alone. Yes, family and friends have their place, but when the lights go out, and all the clowns go home, it’s just me. So now I concentrate on me…for a change. And yes, it’s never too late for a change for the better.

Surgery is difficult, but necessary, if life is to be worth anything!
I’m being transformed through trouble, and there has been much trouble, but the surgery will help set things in order, each in it’s proper place.

The first rule in the surgery process is “it’s all between your ears”. The surgery must first began in your mind, your thinking will have to change. We go the way our minds don’t we? The answer is yes. The Bible says “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” We must believe everything God says about us, and defy everything else! When a thought comes in your mind, check it…is it according to God’s word? If not, dismiss it and send it back where it came!

Knowing that God loves you will help the surgery process, and loving yourself is a must. Know that He’s thinking of you and have your best interest in mind. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil to give you an expected end.” God wants to give us a future and a hope.

How well the surgery goes will depend mightily on our perception of ourselves, do you love yourself, do you like yourself? Learn to love yourself, no love for others until you love you.

Another critical component is forgetting and moving on. Yes some things must be dealt with and forgotten, nothing positive will happen before that! Paul talking to the saints in Philippi says “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14.

There may have been many mistakes made, many failings, many going around the same dumb mountain…but today is a new day…march forward. Forgive yourself and others and go on. Make restitution were possible and move on.

Joseph taught us this principle a long time ago. Notice what he says in Genesis 41:50-52 as he names his two sons. “And unto Joseph were born two sons before the years of famine came, which Asenath the daughter of Poti-pherah priest of On bare unto him. 51)And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God, Saith he, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father’s house. 52) And the name of the second called he Ephraim: For God hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.”There will be no FRUITFULNESS before FORGETTING. Joseph learned that and it’s still true today.

You may have a lot of work to do, or just a bit of critiquing; doesn’t matter, the process is the same. Forget it and let it go, ask God to forgive you and receive it and move on.

These are a few of the points of recovery as we perform surgery on ourselves, not on others(that’s their job).

I keep in mind that I am the patient, I’m the one who chooses to change, it’s not about others, I’m in the prep room all alone. It’s about me, and I’m ready for change. We will look at some strageties to change next time….Let the change began!!!

My Progress

MY SHOUT OUTS HAVE CHANGED!

It's often the little things that really counts...well some big ones too.HA! Anyway I've noticed a thing or two about myself of late. First, I don't write and blog like I should, and I don't tell my husband to bring back junk from the store. I can remember shouting out "bring me some ginger snaps, the orange sherbet, fiddle faddle, a roast for supper and on and on. I never really thought about it much but I really enjoyed sweet stuff. I was always baking things, and taking a bite or two, haha. I really liked meat too, in fact sweets and meats were my mainstay. Living in the country we had cows and hogs and turkeys and geese and duck, and goats...yes goats....and of course the infamous chickens. We were poor, but daddy was a great provider and fed not only his family but the NEIGHORHOOD! There was seldom a meal without meats and sweets.Now this isn't about blaming my parents for my failings, but the truth must be told, then we glean from it.



Coming home from school was usually a treat in that momma always had a "treat" for us, cookies, a pie, a cake, a sweetbread, a sweet potato pudding(the best!), and that was life on the farm. Then we would go out and daddy almost ALWAYS had work for us to do.



Though I was skinny as a rail then...I remembered those "good times", and incorporated it into my way of life...the Southern girl that I am! Later in life I attributed my weight gain to my genes. I am a McAllister, the genes run in my family. And of course DNA plays a part in many areas of life. But you can change your genes, but buddy it's hard work. I always wanted to look like daddy, tall and slim,WHEW he was skinny all his life. The baby of 22 children, his siblings tease that "there won't much left when he came along" For the Stewart's were big boned, daddy was the ONLY skinny Stewart I've ever seen. All his siblings were a ripe old size, not fat but tall and say "generous". I have sisters and brothers that look like daddy, but me and my deceased sister, and a brother took right after momma....not that there's anything wrong with that!!! Walking by the mirror sometimes I stop in amazement of how I look like momma, she was a beautiful wonderful woman, she struggled with her weight like me, but finally lost weight and lived 89 years. I would like to be like momma, able to change. I remember momma lost a lot of weight and was so proud of herself. I was skin and bones then and didn't think much about it, but she really did good.



I'm working hard to change my genes and a lotta other things in this time of life. I don't shout out the bad things anymore when my husband goes to the store without me. And when we go together, I can easily pass things up, no more sugar, and salt ridden things go into the basket. I do remember I have children and buy some things for them, but very little bad stuff.



Leaving for the store last week, I shouted to my husband, get me some apples(Granny Smith), carrots, some collards, a cabbage, some squash, vegetable broth, and I stopped in my tracks..Unknowingly my wants had changed! I would always want SOMETHING sweet, a pie crust, some kind of frosting for a cake...something..pork chops...something. I really can say that " No salt, no sugar, no junk, yeah me thing is working. And I had barely noticed...better keep it up, no need to go backwards now. I often think of this scripture and pray and work hard that it never happen to me again. 2 Peter 2:22 "But it happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire." Thank God my shout outs have changed!

My Progress